I think I already know everything about parenting (ha! yeah right!)
But every now and then I come across a new parenting idea that blows me away.
A while back I read Jitterberry’s article “Who Should Adjust?” (sadly, blog no longer active) and it’s so powerful! She says that most parenting problems can be summed up as “how can I get my child to need less of me?”
Isn’t that SO true?! We ask kids to need us less, and we ask them to BE less. We ask them to be quieter, be more still, get out of the way, take up less room, and be more alone. We may not SAY “shut up and go away” out loud, but damn, that’s what we communicate a lot of the time!
Jitterberry asks the simple question, “What if instead we could become more?” and that’s the kind of question that can change your life.
When a difficult or uncomfortable situation arises, it’s natural to want to pull back. You want to protect yourself. You want...
That’s my name for today. My son Dylan is 6 years old, and he’s pissed at me, and he’s decided to call me Life Ruiner.
He’s not just saying, “You’re a life ruiner.”
He is literally addressing me as if my name were Life Ruiner.
“I’m going downstairs to watch TV, Life Ruiner.” “Will you make me some lunch, Life Ruiner?”
You’re probably thinking it’s funny. Okay, it’s definitely a little bit funny.
But we’ve been struggling the last few days, and he’s been expressing a lot of anger, and he’s been saying he doesn’t love me and that he doesn’t want to be around me. And so my feelings are hurt. Like, not just “tell him my feelings are hurt so he will understand the effect of his words.” My heart is legitimately heavy, and I feel like shit about the whole thing.
When Dylan does something I don’t like, I have a fork in the road ahead of me. I...
My son and I recently visited a Waffle House where it’s a lot of fun to watch your food being made right in front of you.
We decided to try some of the food at home.
Dylan shouted out his order, and I tried to make hash browns, cheesy eggs, and deep fried French fries (not an actual Waffle House food!) as good as you’d get at any greasy diner.
I’d even holler out “Order Up!” when the food was ready.
But I’m not a short order cook.
Dylan can’t drive, which puts me in the driver’s seat for helping get his out-of-the-house needs met. I take him to the grocery store, to recreational activities, to his friends’ houses, and to Walmart on allowance day.
But I’m not a chauffeur.
I do a lot of cleaning on Dylan’s behalf. I wash his dishes. I do his laundry. The older he gets the more he picks up after himself. But I still pick up after him quite a bit.
But I’m not a maid.
Usually when you hear a parent lament that they...
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